Black and White Fun

I'm trying to write a post ... I'm just so emotionally drained.  For anyone wondering, my family is fine.  We were  so forever lucky to not even lose power as tornadoes took out Tuscaloosa and neighborhoods less than 10 miles from my house and only an interstate exit down from my husband's work.  I will write that soon, but right now I'd like to share a fun black and white picture and enter it into Little Something's Photo Challenge

4's on a Monday

I stole this from Momma Fargo and thought it seemed like a fun, not-much thought required thing to do on a Monday!

Four Places I Go

1. The Coal Mine {work} ok, it’s not really a coal mine, but rather a coal testing lab although I get dirty enough to consider it a coal mine.

2.  Handbell Practice

3.  Pepper Place

markets on Saturday mornings

4.  Church {Vestavia Hills Lutheran Church} … I need to go more often, but honestly I rarely just ‘skip’ … these past few weekends I’ve either been out of town or at my parents’ church

Four Smells that I Love

1.  Lavender

2.  Honeysuckles

3.  Fresh air; especially the cool air of an early spring or fall morning before the heat really reaches us

4.  Sharpies


Four Favorite TV Shows

1.  Modern Family

2.  Criminal Minds

3.  Law & Order: LA

4.  The Office

Four Recommendations

I’m recommending iPhone games/apps because I am obsessed with them!

1. Angry Birds; I mean who doesn’t love this game! Even Leah plays it!

2. Words with Friends; my name is colour4, but I must warn you … my family has dinged me a words with friends cheater (more like an open book test if you ask me)

3. Talking Tom; he’s a cat and he’s super cute

4. Scott Sigler free audiobooks (they are in the podcast section of iTunes)

Honesty and Children

The other day my dad and I were discussing about children and their amazing ability to catch onto technology.  That quickly transitioned into the fact that I blog.  My dad warned that I need to start censoring what I write.  He made a comment something along the lines of ‘you wouldn’t want Leah to read what you write on the internet.’  I don't even know if they read this blog ...

I didn’t really respond then … just thanked him for the advice and changed the topic. 

But what I thought was, ‘why not?’  Why would I not want her to read what’s on here?  It’s not like I write horrible stuff.  I’m not chronicling sex escapades or detailing committed murders.  I just write about me.

So I’ve written about being sad / depressed.  So I’ve written about being pregnant before being married.  I’ve also written about the amazing love I feel for my children.  I’ve written about the struggle to work and be a mom.  I’ve written about the struggles of marriage.

So.

I want to be an open book with my children.  I want to answer all their questions.  I want to tell them honestly about my life, and relay to them how I made mistakes.  How I hope and pray that she will make her own choices the same as I want them to be, but I also know that her mistakes will be her own.  It’s how you grow.

I don’t want to hide anything from my girls.  I don’t think I have to.  I may be naive in this hope.  I did also think I could discipline Leah without using the word ‘no’.  Yeah, that didn’t work out and maybe this won’t as well, but until then I’d like to be happy in my naivety.

I want to be the real life Laureli and Rory Gilmore.

I want Leah to know she can come to me with anything.  I want Audrey to know she can come to me with anything.  I want any other baby we may (or may not) have to know he/she can come to me with anything.

Random Question

Random Question on a Tuesday

What t.v. game show would you want to be on?

Family Fued!!!!!  I love watching Family Fued.  When I stayed at home with an itty bitty Leah, I think I watched every single Family Fued made.  Andrew and I have even figured out who we want to be on our team, who would be captain (...Andrew claimed that...), and who would be our weakest link. Oh ... that's another good game show too, lol.  But the weakest link is the last person in the line because they never have to go answer a question up front ... unless your tied and have to go longer.

We even practice!  We downloaded the Family Fued game, and Andrew and I played it until the questions repeated and it just wasn't fun anymore.

They record somewhere in California.  Anyone want to host us while we win money on Family Fued?  or come cheer us on!

Second to Family Fued would be any of the game shows you go on as a whole family, like Double Dare.  I think they still have games like that!

What about you?  What t.v. game show would you love to be on?

oh ... and do you have a random question for me?  leave it in the comments and I'll answer and link back to you!

Weekend Fun

What did you do this weekend?

{1}

Happy Birthday to Me

I turned 26.  I offically said bye bye to a quarter of a century and moved into the next one.  We had some friends over for dinner and to hang out, and it was perfect!  Andrew made a wonderful punch, homemade burgers, and my friend made me an alcoholic cake. No, for real .... the cake was soaked in Baileys and Ammerato, and the icing was Bailey's icing.  It was super yummy! 

I tried to get Leah to sing 'happy birthday' to me, but she told me she coudn't because it wasn't my real birthday because I didn't have any balloons.

{2}

BlueBelle

We got a puppy.  I blame my husband. He would take in any stray cat or dog if we could.  She was free from the vet, had shots and way too cute to say no too.  She is a beagle mix.  She has one brown eye and one blue eye.  The girls absolutely love her, and we do too.  She is one spoiled puppy.

{3}

Sick Baby

Audrey has been sick the last week.  Poor baby.  We went to the doctor on Tuesday, and then back again on Saturday.  She even had a chest x-ray.  They cleared the x-ray, and put her on antibiotics, and she is finally starting to feel better.

{4}

Spring Sun

yay for having a backyard to play in!

So ... what did you do this weekend?

Life Revisited

“Another day, another death,” Marilyn mused while glancing over the obit section of the newspaper.  At 85 Death seems to always hang around like that guy who talks too loud at parties, an annoyance that can’t be avoided.

She gingerly refolded the newspaper convinced none of the deceased were names she knew.  Her morning coffee sat quickly growing cold, moved to second in line behind her glass of water and the daily pills desperately trying to cure old age.

Thinking once more of death, she continued her morning routine.  Thoughts of eternity played around in her mind.  Although her body crippled with age, her mind was as sharp as it had ever been.

Would she one day wake up to find herself in Heaven?  Would she be filled with the heat of Hell?  Or would her life just end, her body decay and her soul survive in stories told to those still living?

 Never one to accept questions she could not answer the idea death threw her analytical mind in topspin only calmed by therapy and pills.

When her husband died, the depression and topspin just combined into a numbing reality.  One day it may be a college roommate, a high school friend, a work colleague she avoided.  They came, they impacted her life, they left and brought about troubling questions she could not answer without firsthand experience, but then it was too late anyway.

Lately it was Betty who was troubling her.  Seven days ago, minus a few hours, she sat in the second row at her best friend’s funeral.  And on that ironically beautiful day, the pains of growing old hit her with a strength she had yet to completely understand.

She stretched her legs and headed out to receive the mail, completing another portion of her morning routine.  While sifting through the bills and AARP reminders, she noticed a peculiar postcard featuring her favorite place in the world.  When she turned it over the words made her gasp and question life again.

“I’m not dead.  Meet me tonight at Guido’s Pizzeria.  Tell no one.”

It gave instructions, a time and it was signed with Betty’s unique signature.  She had never once seen it duplicated.

The sun hung in the sky preparing to make it’s ascend on the other side of the world when she walked into the crowded pizzeria.  She relayed the information to the hostess and was guided to her seat around wild children who held no respect for the frailty of an 85 year old woman’s body.

Why on Earth would Betty pick such an obnoxious place as this?

Shortly after she settled into her seat, she was approached by a woman she did not recognize.  The woman appeared to be welcoming 30 gracefully.  Her shoulder length brown hair and deep blue eyes reminded Marilyn of her best friend.  It took her back to the days of bearing babies and getting mommy haircuts.

The woman took the seat opposite her.

Marilyn winced and began to tell the woman to move, this seat was taken, when the woman spoke.

“Marilyn, it’s me Betty.”

No, no there was no way Marilyn’s mind could comprehend this one.

And yet the woman spoke on.  She told stories of times they had spent together.  She relayed images of their kids playing together.  She admitted secrets no one else had known.

“I know you have many questions and I can’t answer them all, but I’ll start.  See, there are these scientists working on slowing down aging, and these other ones trying to figure out why we grow old, but the best ones are the ones who have figured out how to reverse time all together.  They can make you any age you want to be.  I picked 31, because I think that is when we really started living.”

Marilyn just stared; disbelief etched as thick as her wrinkles.

“But its ok, Mary, because they have picked you to be next.”

And with that the smiling young woman reached across the table and handed Marilyn a sheet of paper with a name and number on it.  She kissed the older woman on the check and disappeared through the doors without another word.

The fictional story above was inspired by a prompt for Red Writing Hood "One week after attending the funeral of a close friend, you receive a postcard in the mail with the words, 'I'm not dead. Meet me tonight at Guido's Pizzeria. Tell no one.' "  Concrit is always welcome and appreciated.

Black and White Snapshots

I am totally loving the 'lifestyle' photography ... you know those pictures that just capture life without anyone being staged.  I also love classic black and white, so here is a look into our life this weekend in classic b/w.

Sad Day.

My babies are sick.

It's a virus, the worst kind of sickness.  There's nothing I can do, but wait it out and treat the symptoms.  Leah is coughing, and coughing, and coughing, and coughing.  Audrey has a fever.  The coughing is annoying (trust me), but the fever makes me so sad.  I just want to take all the unpleasantness away from my babies.  I know I can't, but that doesn't stop me from wishing I can.

I took them to the doctor yesterday to make sure nothing crazy was going on.  The doctors office drew blood from Audrey.  She wasn't sad about it ... she was mad!  She sat there and screamed at the nurse, then looked and screamed at me, then when they were done and she had a neon green ban-aid she held her finger up towards me and screamed again.

See ... I started you off with thoughts of curing my babies only to show you a picture of my screaming child.

I hate it when my babies are sick, and I hate it even more when I have to leave for work.

That Moment

Time and time again I have told Leah climbing on the arms of the couch is not the correct way to get on the couch.  Time and time again her three year old mind has either forgotten that rule or chose to ignore it for the thrill of climbing on the wrong way.

This particular time while scrambling over the forbidden side, her foot kicked the power cord to the lamp causing the light to suddenly disappear.  Startled I verbally lashed out at my sullen child unable to get on the couch and now in trouble as well.  My words came out probably too harsh for such a simple startle.

Then I saw it.  I saw myself in my baby.  I saw the instant recognition of wrong doing.  I saw her guilt for messing up.  I saw her shame for upsetting her mom. 

In that scrunched face with tears streaming down her cheeks I felt the kid in my cry as well.  I instantly knew she knew she messed up.  I knew she would not repeat it.  Letting me down was punishment enough.

And I felt it; her need for a hug.  So many times being disciplined as a child all I really wanted was a hug.  I understood I messed up.  I understood I let my parents down.  I was full of guilt and shame, and all I really wanted was for someone to remind me they loved me.

So I stopped yelling.  I stopped being mad. In that split second my childhood rushed into my soul, I dropped to my knees and gathered her into me.  I held her as she sobbed understanding she wasn’t sobbing for a kicked out power chord, but from the shame and embarrassment of messing up. 

I pushed her into me and cooed into her ear.  I told her I loved her.  I told her she didn’t have to be perfect for me.  I told her it was alright to make mistakes.  I held her until her shaking sobs became kisses and ‘i love you too’s. 

For that moment Leah wasn’t my child; she was me 20 years ago.

Mommy, pick me up

I spoil my children.  I now it.  It's ok ... I'm ok with it too, lol.  I spoil Audrey by carrying her around everywhere she wants to go.  Well, now my back hurts and she needs to walk, and sometimes there are moments when I can't carry her, like while I'm cooking.

So, this is what I see a lot now ... Audrey's way of saying "Mommy, pick me up ... NOW!"

Leaving Thoughts and Losing Time

Everyone goes through a time when writing is scarce, thoughts leave quickly, and blog posts just aren't as grand as they once were ...

i think mine is right now ...

• Work is working me like crazy!  I am currently training two people by myself and adding on responsibilities by the day.  So, I asked for a raise.  I don't know what will happen, but I had to tell someone!
• We are going to Nashville this weekend, just me and the girls.  I really wish Andrew could come, but he has to work ... It will be the first time I take the girls on a trip by myself.
• I'm tired.  I don't know if it is the pollen in the air, the long busy days, or the rain storm going on outside, but I'm tired.
• My 365 project is lacking.  I'm still taking pictures, they just aren't as inspired as they once were.

So, overall, busy but good.  I guess it's like taking a mental breather, without really meaning too.  Wanna see some new pictures?

oh, how did I know you'd say yes?  My facebook friends probably think I upload too many pictures, but I have an excuse.  The other day I told Andrew he should come look at these pictures I took, and he told me to put them on facebook and he'll look at them there.

Andrew ... here's some pictures from this weekend:

Stadium Fest ... of course we got there during the hour they closed the entire kids section for the James Spann inspirational speech.  That's great ... unless your kids are 3 and 1 are just really want to jump on the bouncy things.  We did get our faces painted, and then headed off to a more fun place ...


The park in front of Stadium Fest!  yay!


So, just wondering, has life ever interfered with your creative flow ... and how did you overcome it?

Party, party, party!

Welcome to the Colour 4

let me be honest ... and a bit selfish ... this site is about me!  and all the other stuff that goes along in my life.

Christy (me)

I'm 25 ... I'll be 26 in two weeks.  Just this night I had a conversation with the guy at the gas station about how I looked young.  When I walked up with beer (for the party, you know) his first words were "How old are you mam?"  and then he kept repeating, "you look young" ... I thanked him for his compliments and walked away with my beer.  I'm really 25 (almost 26) I swear!

Andrew (hubby)

Right now Andrew is watching Old School for maybe the 200th time.  When it started he commented how the music takes him back to his partying days.  So, here's to the ultimate party movie!

Leah (3.5 going on 13)

Tonight Leah had the house phone and seriously looked at me and told me she needed to text Santa so he knows she's being a good girl. What ... my 3 1/2 year old wants to start texting?

Audrey (the 1 year old baby)

Tonight Audrey said bath!  She doesn't talk much, and I'm pretty sure it's because Leah speaks for her, but it could also be because she knows how to get her way without ever speaking a word.

So, this place is pretty much a spot for me to be me.  I write fiction here.  I talk about my past here.  I take pictures (one a day to be exact)  I talk about my kids.  I talk about how I can not cook.  I talk about struggles.  And I make up my own sense as I go along, because I'm sure you know ... everything in life doesn't make sense, but we just keep going and make it up as we go along!

I would be honored to have you come along with me, and I will for sure come visit you as well.