*sigh*
I'll tell you a
Once upon a time there was a girl who writes a blog. This girl dated a guy who cheated on her. It was a stupid thing that happened; a drunken night where he was persuaded into the dirty by her.
This girl who writes a blog forgave the guy she dated. Truely forgave him.
But she was still upset, confused, less trusting, and angry.
But she kept it all inside. And life went on.
Until this girl who writes a blog made a stupid decision. She let her emotional buildup persuade her to make many wrong desicions, 10 times worse than the act that started it all. She let all these emotions take her down the wrong path. Don't say she didn't realize it then ... she did, and she didn't care. See; way too emotional for anything.
Eventually she stumbled back to the right path, and married the guy she used to date.
They both have a past, and she has tried to change the past with little luck. The guy she used to date forgave her too.
But the guy she used to date still talks to her. They are old friends, like high school old, and apparently the incident above from being friends, and talking on facebook, and texting multiple times a week.
A couple of days ago, the girl who writes a blog, and the guy she used to date had a conversation after she accidentally saw a text from her. He was upset that the girl who writes a blog still didn't like her. He said she wants to meet his girls, hang out with them since they moved back closer. They have a friendship that is halted all because the girl who writes a blog is being stupid and emotional.
So, the girl who writes a blog facebook friended her. In this crazy digitial world she knows it is a small step, but at least its a step.
But the girl who writes a blog does not know if she can be in the same room with her. Watch her play with the kids. Laugh, smile, joke and enjoy hanging out with her as a friend. But she loves the guy she used to date so much, and wants to make him happy.
But hell ... she doesn't know if she will ever forgive her.
How would you finish this story?
I don't know everything about this true story, but the only thing that comes to my mind is that sometimes the guy she used to date needs to show love and respect for the girl he married feelings... that seems to be a sensitive situation and the girls feelings about the past should be respected and honored too...
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel, I mean my husband doesnt want to be friends with "her" but I cant get over the anger really. I have forgave him but not her. I dont think its healthy that he push this on you he needs to look at it from all points of view. Sounds like playing with fire to me. Hope yall figure it out. ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteI couldn't get over it, either. Or want anything to do with her.
ReplyDeleteVery tough situation. Part of me says to keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Part of me says that being friend with "her" is not a smart move on his part and like the pp said, he's playing with fire. Then part of me thinks that if it was a one time mistake and all is forgiven, maybe it's best to let go and move on. Very tough, good luck to the girl in this story. xo
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't be okay with this. I think the guy she used to date needs to cut the crap about wanting friends with this person. It's a hard spot to be in because we all have this need to get along but there are sometimes when you don't need to befriend someone. It doesn't make you wrong at all. I think the guy you used to date is trying to get his way by saying these things to you. It's a form of manipulation. Visiting from shell's. Good luck. It's a tough one for sure.
ReplyDeleteWe’ll pretend nobody can see this comment. Since it’s just a story anyway. The guy writing this comment is 100% behind you on this. The guy writing this comment hopes the guy that used to be dated doesn’t read this and get mad at me. But the guy who is writing this comment thinks it’s dangerous to have close friendships with opposite gender “friends” when one is married. Knowing people of the opposite gender is fine, but being “close” – that’s fire. As the only man speaking here – I’ll tell you IT”S TRUE. I say forgive – of course forgive – but that doesn’t mean the “close” friendship is OK. Friends – fine – but YOU are his “close” female friend – he doesn’t need another one. Just sayin’ – just sayin I get what you’re saying.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't want her on my facebook............if I had it.
ReplyDeletehmm ... coming from a gal that once had sex with her best male friend, a long time ago in a galaxy far far away .. I can see how the friendship can still be there and still be strong. I am still great friends with my best male friend, but the benefits are long LONG gone and hubby has no issues with us being friends.
ReplyDeleteon the other hand, I was not with hubby when best male friend and I had sex, so there is no threat there ... that could be a different matter entirely.
I think you are valid in having the feelings you do towards her and I would ask HIM why is it so important for this girl to be a part of his life ... a girl that once played a hand in sabotaging the relationship from the get go??
just a thought ...
Well, this is actually a little like something I've had to deal with, Kensei has a friend.. he wants us to be friends, although she is WAY catty I can understand The girl's position... Ask him if he would feel the same way.. and talk to him and explain her feelings and see what he says is what I would do
ReplyDeleteI don't know how it should end. I think I'd end it with facebook friends. Some things are just too tough for me to overcome.
ReplyDeleteSounds complicated. I would do as you are doing and try really hard to forgive. I would also being very wary and that would probably make forgiveness hard. I would tread carefully here if I were the guy the girl who wrote the blog used to date :0)
ReplyDeleteThat is a sticky situation. I don't think it's at all wrong of you to not want to hang out with her or have him hang around her. I mean, you've both forgiven and moved on, but why worry about opening old wounds and having one more thing to argue about? I think the facebook friending is a way big step on your part, and he should take it for what it is and respect your feelings. Theoretically, of course, since this isn't a "true" story.
ReplyDelete