This was very evident last weekend during our trip to the GA Aquarium. Well, evident to him, he explained it to me later.
I have what I like to call 'crowd claustrophobia' a whole 'nother post all together, but when in a large crowd I am over-the-top anxious, jumpy and often start hyperventilating.
Last Saturday, as our girls snoozed in their bed and we enjoyed a glass of wine, Andrew shared with me a situation he was troubled with earlier at the crowded aquarium. Not sure where to turn, what to do, overwhelmed and anxious I spoke to Andrew as if 20 doors separated us instead of air and a few feet.
That night, sinking into the bed, Andrew shared that he wished instead of yelling over to him I had come over, lightly touched his elbow, spoke into his ear about the problems I was having. Our conversation was between him and I, not everyone milling around.
And then he said the comment that really touched me to my soul. He said, "I feel like you have the idea in your head of the perfect wife, and you struggle to be that. Instead of being that perfect wife, that perfect mom, that perfect woman, I just want you to be my best friend."
His best friend.
He's right. I do have that perfect woman dancing around in my head, judging me everyday against my actions. But no, I shouldn't have to judge myself against this idolized woman. I should just focus on being best friends with my husband.
Flirt with him more. Be with him more. Touch him more when I talk. Support him more. Laugh with him more. Remember how we were before our beautiful headaches. Remember how we were before we were even dating, when we truly were just best friends.
Thanks best friend for reminding me of this.
I love you more than I even know.
