Yesterday I did a no-no. I argued with Andrew (hubby) in front of Leah (oldest daughter -- she's 3).
I lost my patience.
I got frustrated.
I got mad.
I made Leah sad.
I misplaced my phone charger. I moved it to a different location and misplaced it. Andrew got frustrated that I couldn't find it and wanted to set an alarm on his phone, but he didn't know if he was taking his phone with him to bed and I really should know where my charger is so I can plug it up and I should suck it up and look for it instead of using his phone.
(sounds kinda dumb now)
I felt as if he was talking down to me, talking to me like I was a child and stupid and not as good as him. (note -- I included the powerful word felt ). I hate being talked down to; like I'm lower than another person, and I lost my patience rather quickly. I got mad that I couldn't just use his alarm. I got mad that he wouldn't help me look for it. I got mad that he accused me of messing up every cell phone that I own. (no, I did not make my last few phones stop working). I got mad that I felt like he was acting like an ass. And I told him that.
And Leah sat on the couch. And Leah told me I was going to make her cry.
I stopped getting mad. I sat down next to her.
She asked me to apologize to Daddy. I didn't. I apologized to her for yelling in front of her, and for a moment she became the 25 year old, and I became the 3 year old.
I don't want to act that way in front of my daughter. I don't want for her to think of this as a way a wife acts towards her husband. I don't want to treat my husband that way. I don't want him to treat me that way either.
I messed up.
I lost my temper.
I made a mistake in front of my daughter.
I feel bad
Oh, for goodness sake. If I had a penny for every time I've lost my cell phone or charger or wallet or keys or eyeglasses, I'd be a millionaire. I think you had every reason to feel a little upset with your hubby for not letting you use the alarm on his cell. Seriously now, would it have killed him? Did he try to help you find the thing? That's what I would have done. That's what what my hubby would do! It's a shame that your daughter felt sad about seeing you upset with your hubby but it didn't sound like she was scared and you did sit down and explained to her why you were mad and that's awesome.
ReplyDeleteOh, girl, we all mess up. You realized what you were doing and stopped and talked to her about it. *HUGS*
ReplyDeleteAww! So sorry! I have done that too and I don;t like to make Dustyn feel bad.
ReplyDeleteI think it's healthy to show that people who love each other have disagreements. Don't be too hard on yourself!
ReplyDeleteI think it's great when our kids see us mess up. Then they can get a true picture of our fallibility, of our asking for forgiveness, of our desire to change...I know you feel badly, but remember it as a great lesson for your little one.
ReplyDeleteHello. Coming by via the link...
ReplyDeleteI can understand why you would feel bad about the incident but it sounds from what you wrote that it was given some thought, talk and resolved. I like what Joey said above, I came from a home where I didn't see parents having conflict and resolution and I wish there would have been a little of it to help teach me how to deal with conflict in relationships.
It's ok to feel bad but don't beat yourself up too much. We all mistakes and that's how we learn. She has to learn that people fight but make up and that it's ok. That's normal and real life. xoxo
ReplyDeleteWe all make mistakes. The fact that you recognize it says a lot. Give yourself a break!
ReplyDeleteWe're definitely not perfect ~ even though it would a wonderful were if we were. Please don't beat yourself up. I seem to be this mom on a daily basis. Lately I've been a yeller and I've been getting frustrated and mad so easily.... I need a reality check!
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