Wednesday, March 14, 2012

his best friend

I have a problem with intimacy with my husband.  I don't mean the ahem behind the bedroom door intimacy, but more the 'place a hand on his shoulder, whisper into his ear in public' kind.

This was very evident last weekend during our trip to the GA Aquarium.  Well, evident to him, he explained it to me later.

I have what I like to call 'crowd claustrophobia' a whole 'nother post all together, but when in a large crowd I am over-the-top anxious, jumpy and often start hyperventilating.

Last Saturday, as our girls snoozed in their bed and we enjoyed a glass of wine, Andrew shared with me a situation he was troubled with earlier at the crowded aquarium.  Not sure where to turn, what to do, overwhelmed and anxious I spoke to Andrew as if 20 doors separated us instead of air and a few feet.

 That night, sinking into the bed, Andrew shared that he wished instead of yelling over to him I had come over, lightly touched his elbow, spoke into his ear about the problems I was having.  Our conversation was between him and I, not everyone milling around.

And then he said the comment that really touched me to my soul.  He said, "I feel like you have the idea in your head of the perfect wife, and you struggle to be that.  Instead of being that perfect wife, that perfect mom, that perfect woman, I just want you to be my best friend."

His best friend.

He's right.  I do have that perfect woman dancing around in my head, judging me everyday against my actions.  But no, I shouldn't have to judge myself against this idolized woman.  I should just focus on being best friends with my husband.

Flirt with him more.  Be with him more.  Touch him more when I talk.  Support him more.  Laugh with him more.  Remember how we were before our beautiful headaches.  Remember how we were before we were even dating, when we truly were just best friends.

Thanks best friend for reminding me of this.

I love you more than I even know.


  1. That's really really sweet. I think my husband and I have that issue too, or even one with body language when we communicate. I often find that even in our day to day conversation we stand in defensive positions, with our arms crossed or hands on our hips. It's like we're both guarded. Not sure what's up with that. It's really sweet how he encourages you to open up and be yourself with him. :)

  2. He sounds like such a keeper! :)

  3. I get that! I am the same way...but it's because I rarely stop to think about it. I try to hold his hand more instead of the kids, kiss him when he comes home, give him a hug when he doesn't expect it. I think we get so wrapped up with our kids, we forget about the husbands. He sounds like a great guy! :)

  4. This brought tears to my eyes. I hope that you find it easier to reach that closeness with your husband. I also struggle big time with trying to be perfect and my husband is a big supporter of helping me remember that I don't need to be. Sounds like your guy is a good one, too. :)

  5. That is so awesome! What a great guy you have.


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