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Thursday, April 21, 2011

Honesty and Children

The other day my dad and I were discussing about children and their amazing ability to catch onto technology.  That quickly transitioned into the fact that I blog.  My dad warned that I need to start censoring what I write.  He made a comment something along the lines of ‘you wouldn’t want Leah to read what you write on the internet.’  I don't even know if they read this blog ...

I didn’t really respond then … just thanked him for the advice and changed the topic. 

But what I thought was, ‘why not?’  Why would I not want her to read what’s on here?  It’s not like I write horrible stuff.  I’m not chronicling sex escapades or detailing committed murders.  I just write about me.

So I’ve written about being sad / depressed.  So I’ve written about being pregnant before being married.  I’ve also written about the amazing love I feel for my children.  I’ve written about the struggle to work and be a mom.  I’ve written about the struggles of marriage.

So.

I want to be an open book with my children.  I want to answer all their questions.  I want to tell them honestly about my life, and relay to them how I made mistakes.  How I hope and pray that she will make her own choices the same as I want them to be, but I also know that her mistakes will be her own.  It’s how you grow.

I don’t want to hide anything from my girls.  I don’t think I have to.  I may be naive in this hope.  I did also think I could discipline Leah without using the word ‘no’.  Yeah, that didn’t work out and maybe this won’t as well, but until then I’d like to be happy in my naivety.

I want to be the real life Laureli and Rory Gilmore.

I want Leah to know she can come to me with anything.  I want Audrey to know she can come to me with anything.  I want any other baby we may (or may not) have to know he/she can come to me with anything.

4 comments:

  1. I have raised 5 children, the youngest is 16 and I will say that being open and honest with them about your failures as well as your triumphs helps them to accept their own. I think it is one of the greatest gifts we can give our children. Shannon

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  2. I think had my mom been more honest with me about the things she had lived through we would be closer then we are. Her constant criticism and judgments of me has made our relationship strained at best.

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  3. I think honesty is so important ... kids need to know that mistakes don't mean failure, they just reveal a new path. and really? lying?? they figure it out eventually ;)

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  4. One of my proudest parenting moments is when my oldest daughter says to her friends "I tell my mom EVERYTHING". She is 15. And believe me, she does, sometimes she talks my ears off! LOL
    We have a very different relationship than I had with my mom. I relate to her more on her level. I try not to judge or criticize. I feel like my biggest failure as a parent would be if there was something important going on in my kids lives and they didn't feel like they could tell me. I've tried so hard to keep that from happening.
    The only thing on my blog that I wouldn't want my kids to read is negative references to their dad (we're divorced). I don't say much, but it's my blog and my space and sometimes I need to vent.

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