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Friday, December 10, 2010

First Love (fiction)

This post is fictional and from the red dress club prompt to write about a first love in first person.  It just seemed like they were daring me to continue my thoughts from last week (which is pretty hard for me).  So, this is a flashback, but it comes after THIS post ... so read it first (if you wanna).

2006

I watched as he walked through the crowd of people to the line at the student center cafeteria.  His sandy brown hair curled in a way that threatened to reach the color of his shirt.  Even though he was away, I could still feel his presence at the empty table.

I thought about these past few months as he bought our lunch for the day.  He was different from other guys I had dated.  Even though it had only been a few weeks since we started dating.  Even though everyone would call me crazy or not believe anything I said.  Even though my realistic personality fought against my emotional feelings.  Even though.  But I knew.

I was in love.  He, Ben, was my first love although he was not my first lay.  In high school I hit rebellion hard.  I sought out the worst guys to date and bring home to terrify my mother.  I did whatever those guys requested, and developed some bad habits, but none of that mattered anymore.

He turned towards our table carrying our tray.  The clarity in his crystal blue eyes pierced my soul from yards away.  He greeted me with a soft kiss on my cheek and a tray of food on the table.

“Thanks Honey,” I replied softly.  “I’ll be back in a minute.  I need to make a trip to the Ladies room.”

“Of course Sarah,” his voice sang out to me.

Hurriedly, I grabbed my purse on the way towards the bathroom.  Glancing back I waited until he was engrossed in his sandwich before I made a sharp turn away from the bathroom to the outside door.

Once outside in the warm summer air I automatically pulled out my pack of cigarettes.  I barely noticed my hands still shaking from my short jump into the memories of the past few years.  Quickly I puffed down a cigarette, the calming relief until to sustain me until my next break.

I loved Ben.  I knew I did, but the memories haunted my mind.  He hated my smoking, so I tried to hide it even though I was rarely successful.  But I was successful at hiding the memories.  With Ben life seemed slower.  I felt peace with him.  I knew he was a guy I could bring home to meet my mom, and she may be proud of me, for once.

I quickly glided through the outer doors secure in my new found confidence.  Ben was my first love and I would do whatever I needed to keep him as my forever love, past memories be damned.

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