Trust Series -- Faith

After my first kinda introductory entry into this series I loved all the comments on how people were interested to see where I was going to take this.

And then I realized ... I was interested to see where I was going to take this too ...

So, I was going to start with some post on self growth and trusting your self; trusting your decisions and something like that.  Because I am a big believer in trusting yourself; taking time to yourself.  You know the adages about 'you can't change him, but you can change you' or how when you believe in yourself you just feel better.

But then I heard Scott Dawson speak this past weekend.

With his words something within me was stirred.  That voice came back that had been silent since after high school. Those feelings that I had been shoving in a corner started creeping back out. And this time; instead of looking the other way, covering my eyes and pretending it's not there; I'm going to follow it.

First and above all else I need to put my trust in God.

Trust is part of Faith, and lately my Faith in God has been rather sucky.  It's not that I don't believe in Him.  It's not that I don't know Him.  It's that I don't try.  These last few years I have taken being a Christian for granted; along with the presumed amount of Faith.

There is a lot about faith that I don't understand, but as Scott said this past weekend 'If you can understand everything there is to know about God; then your God is not big enough'

Trust.  My trust is God has been bent, twisted, beat up and dare I say broken a time or two.  I have been on my knees begging to God. Why me?  Why again?  Why?

I have turned my head upward and screamed; 'What did I do to make you hate me so?'

I have sat defeated in a corner and whispered; 'I just can't do this anymore Lord.'

While Faith in God has remained, my trust has been broken.

I'm sure you have had your trust broken in some manner.  Easy to break, but hard to fix.  Breaking trust is like shattering a 1000 piece puzzle.  Fixing trust is like trying to put it back together.

So first, before I can trust my husband more, before I can trust my colleagues more, before I can trust myself more; I need to pick up the pieces from my broken puzzle.

And though my puzzle will be broken again I'm sure, perhaps next time the pieces will be smaller, and the repair will be easier. It's alot easier to put back together a 16 piece puzzle versus a 1000 piece one.

Interested to see where I'm going to go with this?  yeah, me too ... although I think I'm going to head towards situations that have cost my trust to break and how I can start putting it back together.

 (yes I know I used this picture the other day, but it had a different verse on it)

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I would love to have some guest bloggers on this!  Has your trust or faith been broken?  I would love to share your story dealing with such, and it can be public or anonymous.  Email me at c.killion@yahoo.com